

Metal Grasshopper pairs the unlikely duo of Heavy Metal God Philip H. Anselmo with comedian, dandy, and NPR darling Dave Hill. Dave begs Phil to mold him into "The baddest metal motherfucker of all time." Phil begrudgingly relents and the abuse and absurdity reach epic levels.
Dave Hill, Phil Anselmo, Chris Lee
YouTube

1. Origins
Metal god Philip H. Anselmo reluctantly agrees to share his heavy metal wisdom with delusional manchild Dave Hill.

2. The Awakening
Metal god Philip H. Anselmo schools young grasshopper Dave Hill on headbanging, heavy metal vocals, and the most extreme of all breakfast cereals. Oh, and Dave takes a phone message for Phil from King Diamond, which is awesome.

3. Metal or Not Metal?
Metal god Philip H. Anselmo puts delusional manchild Dave Hill to the test with a round of heavy metal flash cards. Then Phil makes Dave sit in a closet for a seriously long time while he makes an awesome salad. Also, Dave rents a goat. In short, this one pretty much has everything.

4. Unscared
Metal god Philip H. Anselmo lets delusional manchild Dave Hill loose on an unsuspecting public, where he meets an actual woman. Philip also schools Dave on stage banter, corpse paint, and other important topics. Then Philip and Dave get in a huge fight from which they may never recover! It's nuts. There is also breakfast cereal.

5. Vulgar Display of Feelings
Metal god Philip H. Anselmo agrees to undergo group counseling with delusional manchild Dave Hill in an effort to get the goat that also happens to be his grandmother back safe and sound. There's not a dry seat in the house as Dr. Joe Randazzo helps Philip and Dave get in touch with their feelings. Watch this one with the whole family probably.

6. A New Level of Courtesy and Power
It's the dramatic conclusion of season one as metal god Philip H. Anselmo and delusional manchild Dave Hill rebuild their relationship before Dave is released back into the wild or at least the end of Phil's driveway. Also, Phil confronts Dave about not giving him the message from King Diamond. It's nuts.

Dave Hill
Self

Phil Anselmo
Self